i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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