you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
