Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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