The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
