Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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