My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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