Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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