it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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