i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
