i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
