I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
