Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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