You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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