Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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