I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
