WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
