my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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