do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I wear drunk well.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
