Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
