i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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