I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
