question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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