So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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