Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
