His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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