if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
