So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
