is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
