But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
