OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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