im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
