508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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