Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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