Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
