how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I want her autograph on my taint
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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