ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
