I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i think my cat just said my name.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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