Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
