I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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