true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
