Did you just see the Batmobile???
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
