you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
