when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
