My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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