Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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