would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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