My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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