'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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