going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
