ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
