That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
