Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
