I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So much Jack, so little girl.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
