there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
