bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
