she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
