this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
